I've been working with a coach and practicing at any available hour for the past year+ to win a job, but not only has my progress stalled, but random health problems are starting to set me back.
In the past burnout has just been a normal part of the process, and I wouldn't be worried about feeling strained. Heck, my peers who are now working in orchestras often described the dark places they had to go through in order to be winners. But insomnia, brain fog, and headaches are getting in the way of practicing.
If I'm not the most talented I am committed to being the hardest worker in an audition roster, but there are days I just want to quit because I don't get feedback on why I don't advance. I don't know if I'm putting enough effort in, need to swallow my pride and double down, or take an occasional afternoon off.
Here are the thoughts that have worked for me, they might not work for you, you know yourself best. I'm sorry you're going through this. I've been there, it can get very dark.
It is vitally important to have interests, and things worth living for and working towards, outside of music. I did not understand this for many years. I tried to compensate for lack of talent by devoting every waking hour to being good at my instrument. The instrument became my whole life. So when I walked into an audition, it wasn't just "I better play well or I won't win the job," it was "I have to win a job or my life is meaningless/over." That is a staggering amount of psychological pressure to overcome and it put me at a disadvantage. I went down in the first round a lot. And then my health started to dive, my playing started to be affected, my career started sliding backwards, so at that point music (i.e. my whole life) was slipping out of reach. To be perfectly blunt I wasn't sure I wanted to go on living. I recovered and found joy again and I am immensely glad I did.
Unless you're independently wealthy, audition prep is not permanently sustainable. It involves burning limited psychological resources. It is very important to "fill up the tank" when you have the chance so you have enough fuel to burn without burning out. Spend time with loved ones, experience other art forms, walk in nature, whatever you enjoy. It's not a distraction from your goals, it's an investment in your resilience.
Audition prep involves hard work and sacrifice but be honest about your capacity and build a plan of attack around it. I won my first full-time job during a period where I was too injured and depressed to put in more than a couple hours of time (at most) on the instrument per day. Instead of pushing harder, I spent more time planning my practice sessions in advance so I could extract maximum results before my brain got too foggy to continue. It worked.
For me everything shifted when I stopped trying to win the job and started trying to live a good life. Easier said than done. Anyways, I'm rooting for you (and for everyone trying to make it in this crazy business), good luck.
Burnout is real. This is a brutal career trajectory path that carries a lot of rejection and self reflection on our own shortcomings, which in and of itself is incredibly taxing. For what it's worth, I wanted to quit and pivot careers after the audition just before I won my full time position. After over 20 auditions I was done, burned out, tired, sad, and all of that. So I 100% get how you're feeling! If you're noticing your baseline health deteriorating, definitely take a break. Take a few months (or however long you need) to prioritize your well-being before jumping back into another audition. Then, when you take the plunge again, plan your time management well so that you don't end up hurting yourself in the process. The adage "quality over quantity" comes into play here I think. Continue refining your preparation into a well oiled machine that consistently produces a solid product on the other side of the assembly line. Re: not getting feedback on why you don't advance, ideally that's a question you should be trying to answer for yourself. Every time I don't advance, it's for a reason. Maybe my pitch center is a little off, rhythm isn't as solid as I'd like to think it is, or my overall presentation is not tidy for one reason or another. Taking the time to pinpoint why I didn't advance always makes the next audition better.
I can’t speak to everything you are listing here, especially the discouragement and wanting to quit, but I can say that taking breaks and adequately resting are central to maintaining your best work. I will practice less, even when there’s a lot of work I have left to do, if I feel like doing any more is going to exhaust me; I’d be paying that “debt” off for weeks because I tried to shoehorn in another hour of work. The work I do when I’m fresh, even during tough spans of time – days, weeks – when I have so little battery that I’m only fresh for 15-30 minutes, is going to be my best work by leaps and bounds. I will cut the session short when I feel like I can no longer keep up, even if I feel like I have more physical endurance in the tank or that I didn’t play “enough.” To me, it’s about avoiding “stepping over dimes to pick up pennies.”
Rest, leave enough bandwidth in your downtime to be able to think about the excerpts, the music, and your playing without it feeling like drudgery or something you want to avoid, and do everything you can to make your playing sound (even if it doesn’t feel) positive in the practice room, because that will come across in the performance.
Audition work is hard work, and it’s hard to know what factors do and don’t work in your favor across different panels of 9 different musicians in different groups each time. The better you continue to know yourself and decide to believe in your interpretations despite what others may say, the more resilient you will be towards rejection. Make sure that your coach is giving you the advice you need, make sure you are playing for other people whose advice you know you can trust, and maintain your garden; do everything you can to lessen the mental burden on yourself. You do better work when you feel better, and there are cues in your sound as well when you walk on stage that telegraph to a panel whether you feel downtrodden and tired versus excited or engaged.
Tl:dr take care of yourself to make it through the slog! You may be putting in fewer hours, but the material should be as good, if not better, because you approach it with unfettered mental faculties.